How to Maintain Compatibility in Long-Term Relationships

longterm relationships

Long term relationships offer intimacy that only comes with time. You share everything from food preferences and TV shows, to your hopes for the future and goals for their future success. With time comes an increased sense of comfort that only deepens over time.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that not all long term relationships work out. Sometimes couples develop distinct views on one another and need to part ways.


People often avoid long-term relationships because of commitment issues or fears associated with commitment. Commitment usually refers to dedicating yourself for an extended period, such as to an organization, goal or city; it can also refer to relationships. By developing strategies and talking openly about any fears related to commitment you can help reduce them.

Signs of commitment in a relationship include two people spending substantial amounts of time together on activities like attending concerts or spending the night at each other’s houses, as well as looking at apartments or houses together.

Once again, another telltale sign of commitment in any relationship is when both partners regularly discuss plans for future vacations or marriage – something which indicates an investment and commitment in one another’s lives – typically occurring post-Adjusting to Reality stage of any relationship.


There are numerous factors that influence compatibility in long-term relationships, but one important one is shared values. Couples who hold similar views on topics such as family, finances, career advancement and personal growth are more likely to be compatible.

Respect is also of critical importance; for instance, if your partner’s pessimism causes you to hold in your emotions this could be an indicator that this relationship is not suitable.

As with personality clashes, incompatibilities with partner egocentrism may also scuttle a long-term relationship. While compromise may be possible depending on its severity, finding someone who shares your core values would likely be preferable. When discussing future plans and goals it’s also crucial that both partners’ align. If one wants to travel extensively while the other doesn’t is an indication of incompatibility that may require parting ways.


At times, long-term relationships can become routine over time. From sleeping in the same bed each night to seeing the same friends or streaming shows from Netflix, couples may start feeling as though they know each other too well and find themselves struggling to keep things exciting and fresh.

Complacency can easily set in in long-term relationships, leading to an absence of passion and sexual interest between partners. But that doesn’t have to be the case! With some effort and creativity you can add spark back into your romance.

Sex and desire can actually grow stronger over time in long-term relationships if both partners commit to keeping things exciting.

Keep in mind that a stale relationship doesn’t have to be bad and may still have potential for improvement, but if things aren’t changing then it may be time to consider other options. With technology at our fingertips and dating websites offering options galore, finding romance shouldn’t be hard! But first make sure that you recognize the warning signs associated with stagnant relationships.


Researchers such as John Gottman have shown that happy, long-term partners tend to foster positivity, mutual respect and what he refers to as “relational virtues.” Such virtues include refraining from negative reactivity; communicating openly and honestly with one another, as well as offering sincere apologies when needed.

Long-term relationships rely on many of the same elements that influenced initial attraction; however, their relative importance can shift over time. Physical attractiveness typically becomes less important while similarity increases. Cognition often outweighs passion over time and close relationships tend to focus more on companionate love than passionate feelings (Simpson 1987; Sprecher 2006).

Long-term relationships can become stagnant over time, but couples can break free by reevaluating their relationship and exploring new things together like hobby-taking or traveling. Furthermore, it’s essential for couples to maintain individual identities by setting individual goals such as work, exercise, dieting or creative projects outside the relationship.

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